It's been a while....sorry everyone! I guess after living in Switzerland for a year, I've become less motivated to write about the place I live in, which seems every day more and more like a home, and less like a foreign country.....
But then recently inspiration hit me. As one friend came home from a trip abroad, and one left to go to South America, and my boyfriend headed off to Tanzania, I felt a pang of jealousy. Here they are, going to these amazing new places, to see amazing new things. I assumed they were having the times of their lives, and then I started getting Skype calls. I couldn't help but smirk a little when my boyfriend admitted over the screen, "Yeah, I'm still getting used to the fact that I'm not traveling in Africa. I'm actually LIVING here." And that's where I may have him beat. These friends of mine are probably better pros than I'll ever be at traveling, flying, hosteling, and packing (well....maybe...) but I do one thing differently. I don't just travel to a place. I live there. And then write silly little blog entries about it. For long periods of time. Or not.
So I've come to the conclusion, as I give free advice to my friends overseas, whether they like it or not, that maybe I can write a little about my "living overseas" experience. I realize this may or may not be interesting to you, my dear reader, but let me give it a shot. Over the past few years, I've learned that the first impressions of a place you live in are often the deepest and most memorable, so it's important to appreciate and learn from your first days living in a new country. Whether it be France or Mongolia, every place takes a little adjusting to, and it's never going to be exactly like the place you call home. So here are My top ten tips to adjusting to living in a new culture:
1. Attach yourself to people you can trust. Regardless of what age they are, or where they come from, it's always nice to have a friend or two around. It could be the person who is hosting you at the beginning of your stay, or a colleague from your new work place, or maybe even someone you met through another person that one time in that one place. The most important thing is to have someone to rely on, who can help you out if you can't figure out how to get a calling card, or where to buy food, and really don't know what to do.
Even if it's another foreigner, sometimes two minds work better than one, and maybe they can help you work through some problems you might have at the beginning. And of course, it's always nice to have someone to talk to, about the new life you have, who will understand what you are talking about.
It's important to be cautious of who you put this trust in, but in every country I've ever lived in, I've always managed to find good people who truly meant to help me in every way possible, and that truly made a difference in navigating a crazy country.
2. Find a place to stay that is comfortable for you, even if temporarily. Ok, so you will have to adjust to maybe not having running water, or eating odd things that don't look quite right, but it's important to have a room, or place to sleep that is comforting to you. If you have that little bit of privacy, you'll be able to have some peaceful moments during your day to take a break from the chaos and regroup and rethink. If your living situation is really bringing you down, it will probably make the rest of your time there not so enjoyable.
3. Take some time for yourself. Sometimes a new place can be rather shocking, and can freak you out. Instead of forcing yourself out all day long to go sight seeing and make new friends, give yourself a break, even if it's before you go to bed, to just...chill. Write in your journal, read a book, listen to music, do something that relaxes you when you are at home. That way you'll feel recharged for whatever else comes your way. In contrast:
4. Don't hide away! Some of my friends who went abroad for the first time with me in France had this problem. They were so shocked by the country that they spent most of their time in their rooms. This is good for small periods of time to take a break, but be careful that you don't hide away. Then whatever small perceptions you have of the world outside you may become warped or magnified in ways that make you never want to leave your cover, and will probably make you more homesick than before. I found that if you live in a big city, it really helps to discover the quiet, peaceful neighborhoods. Then you can go for walks with your new friends and discover something a little more low key, without hiding away.
5. Find balance with your contacts at home. Of course I will be the first to say it's important to write to your mother and your grandmother so that they know you are alive and well, but be careful. If you spend most of your time on facebook, skype, chat, etc. you: a: miss home even more, and wish you were there and b: miss out on exploring a new place! All of those wasted hours where you could have been climbing a hill to get a great view, or going to a new café to eat something new and exciting. Time to step away from the computer, and communicate with people face to face. Everyone has their own balance. For me, once a week is a perfectly reasonable way to stay in contact.
6. Try to speak the language of the land. Even if you only know "hello," and "thank you," you will often find that the locals are friendlier and responsive towards a foreigner who is trying to respect their ways, even if they sound silly and foolish. It's important if you are going to live there to really try and learn the language, even if people speak your native tongue, or a language you feel more comfortable in. Be patient, it takes time, but if you listen to the radio, watch tv, and try to communicate with that lady in the supermarket, you'll soon discover that what seemed like a scary foreign country will feel more like home.
7. Find a new hobby, or join a new group. If you can pick up an old hobby from home, like a sport, or dancing, go with it. If not, this is a great time to learn something new, and try something that you might be good at, or at least enjoy. It's important to stay a little busy, and if you can stay physically active as well, you'll feel a hundred times better!!! Look around online, or ask locals. There's something for everyone, if you're a little flexible and open minded, and this is the best way to meet locals, who share similar interests to yourself. It's a great way to bond and make friends, and really enjoy your time abroad.
8. Do your best at whatever it is your doing. Whether you're studying, working, or just freeloading (ok, I don't know what to tell you guys, I've never tried that before ;-) ) it's important to give it your all. If you aren't motivated or interested in your job, or your studies, then what are you doing there anyways? Wasn't that part of the plan? Make sure you get your priorities straight, or you'll go home in a year and realize that you had a lot of fun abroad....but didn't accomplish much. If you really feel you learned something or achieved something great, you'll have that positive experience follow you for the rest of your life.
9. Adjust yourself to the cultural expectations. Although you may not be used to wearning long sleeves, or always keeping your hands on the table, unless you attempt to understand and appreciate the culture around you, you will always be labeled, and self label yourself as well as an outsider. This is ok for a 2 week vacation to Turkey, but if you want to gain some respect from the people around you (which I hope you do, you are living there after all), at least try to appreciate and accept some of their cultures. Of course this is not to say you should abandon all of your beliefs just for the sake of blending in. No, you should definitely stay vegetarian if you can't imagine the thought of tasting meat, or go to a special place to pray if you are religious. It's important to share your culture with the people around you as well. Just keep in mind and respect those customs that may seem funny or rediculous to you. I've had plenty of people laugh at me when I explained why they shouldn't open an umbrella inside. Now that's just ridiculous!
10. Most importantly....be PATIENT. With yourself. It's ok to be frustrated, or upset, or homesick for the first few weeks. That's normal for many people, when they live thousands of miles away from their family and friends, and miss what is familiar to them, whether it is missing the ability to read signs around them, or the supermarket with the familiar and friendly food items. It is normal....for a while. But don't let these feelings overrun the other feelings you might be having inside your brain: you may be thinking about all of the amazing things you saw and did that day, or all the crazy people you talked to. Don't go home later regretting that you left at all. This world is a big place, and there's so much to see. Enjoy it! Embrace it. But don't be afraid to be afraid. We're only human after all.
